Imagined Conversation (4.7.14)

 

Photo: Carlos Moñino

Spoken quotes from the week’s news in dialogue form.

A: A trained ape…

B: We need to get this behind us. This nation admits its errors, as painful as they may be.

A: A trained ape preventing surveillance of millions of people at a time? That is totally within our abilities.

B: Right-o. Copy that.

A: And I got to tell you something: dolphins are not a military asset.

B: Now, wait a minute: what we’ve done is put forth a strong case for an ocean…

A: Dolphins are not a military asset. The poop hole’s not a loophole.  Let’s all vote in agreement on that.

B: But our bodies are not designed for this level of stimulation. Dolphinsit’s technically possible to send dolphins that could drill a hole, test the water…

A: Test the water?

B: Enter into their cavesjust go out and hunt for the guy…

A: Dolphins…into their caves?

B: Listen, if there were a bunch of 28-year-olds who went, it’d be great. But they all seem to sour up, lose their bodies…

A: …

B: …they don’t know how to have fun anymore.

 

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