In Conversation Imagined Conversation (4.7.14) By Staff Tweet Photo: Carlos Moñino Spoken quotes from the week’s news in dialogue form. ✖ A: A trained ape… B: We need to get this behind us. This nation admits its errors, as painful as they may be. A: A trained ape preventing surveillance of millions of people at a time? That is totally within our abilities. B: Right-o. Copy that. A: And I got to tell you something: dolphins are not a military asset. B: Now, wait a minute: what we’ve done is put forth a strong case for an ocean… A: Dolphins are not a military asset. The poop hole’s not a loophole. Let’s all vote in agreement on that. B: But our bodies are not designed for this level of stimulation. Dolphins…it’s technically possible to send dolphins that could drill a hole, test the water… A: Test the water? B: Enter into their caves…just go out and hunt for the guy… A: Dolphins…into their caves? B: Listen, if there were a bunch of 28-year-olds who went, it’d be great. But they all seem to sour up, lose their bodies… A: … B: …they don’t know how to have fun anymore. The American Reader stopped publishing in 2015.This is a living archive of our work.